How To Make Loneliness A Blessing In Disguise
By Frank Eiklor and Cecilia Contreras
Lesson 6 Part 1
It was a picture that broke my heart. An elderly woman had committed suicide by hanging. The body had not yet been cut down. Still another person used a gun to take his life. Laying nearby was a note saying, “I feel so all alone.” Loneliness is an international disease. Millions of Americans, Argentinians, Austrians, Australians—people from every nation—suffer from terrible loneliness.
OUR CRISIS IN NEW ENGLAND
All of us have battled loneliness at one time or another. I remember when my wife Norma and I went to New England in 1979. The first year was perhaps the loneliest year of our lives. At the beginning of that first year, when two of our team members were killed in a horrible automobile accident and the other terribly injured, we were enveloped in darkness and loneliness. Of five of us that had come east with a dream, we were now alone.
However, I’ll never forget what happened. We suddenly experienced the warmth of an unseen Friend who seemed to take our hands and whisper, “It is I…Be not afraid. Only believe.” We discovered the warmth of Jesus in a cold hour of testing. He became our answer to loneliness—even though we still felt humanly alone. Scriptures that had usually only been “words” now exploded with living power, “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” (Hebrews 13:5). “Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world,” (Matthew 28:20). “I will not leave you comfortless (like orphans): I will come to you,” (John 14:18).
In what seemed to be our greatest loneliness, we found Jesus a close companion—lovingly watching over us and giving us His grace to handle every test. It’s when we were so lonely, that we realized how many other hurting, lonely people were living all around us. As God comforted us, we found ourselves reaching out with a new understanding of the loneliness of others.
Our loneliness was only temporary. But for many people, loneliness eats like a cancer. So many things can leave terrible loneliness. The death of a mate or other loved one. The heartache of divorce. Learning one has an incurable disease.
Senior citizens often feel alone—and forgotten. Parents become very lonely when their children grow up and the home is filled with emptiness. Teens experience great loneliness and some tragically commit suicide. It’s possible to be surrounded by people in a home, on a job, or in a city and still feel alone.
WHY DOES GOD ALLOW LONELINESS?
God is not the author of loneliness—so why does He allow it? I’m convinced that loneliness can result in great spiritual growth in our lives—if we know how to manage it. Those feelings of loneliness often help us realize that people, places and events all change and will ultimately disappear. The greatest relationship is only temporary. Unless, of course, that relationship is with God. He wants to be our dearest, most precious companion—but He seldom is. Life is often so full of activity that we know a friendship with the Lord but seldom an intimate spiritual relationship.
Yet, isn’t that what He wants and tried to tell us at the beginning when He would take those wonderful walks with Adam and Eve in a lovely garden in the cool of the evening? The Lord cries out for us to love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength but, if we’re honest, we seldom do. That is why God uses our greatest loneliness to help us realize we have only one enduring relationship that can know no end—our walk with God.
PUTTING LONELINESS IN PERSPECTIVE
Study in detail the life of Jesus. He understands our battles with loneliness. He was the most misunderstood person that ever lived. How difficult it was for people to comprehend this One who walked the earth healing sick bodies, casting out demons, calming the seas, raising the dead, forgiving sins and speaking of an unseen but eternal kingdom called “heaven.” His disciples slept while Jesus cried in His garden of agony. They ran away when He was arrested. They deserted Him as He died alone on the cross, and hid in terror after His burial.
He knew what it was to be the loneliest person on earth. No one will ever know the aloneness Jesus experienced when He became the sin of the world and knew, momentarily, even His loving Father forsaking Him. (Matthew 27:46). ALONE! And every drop of blood and sweat that came from His beaten body and broken heart was saying to you and to me, “I love you, I love you, I love you!”
That’s why His continual presence becomes a cure for my feelings of loneliness. One of my most consoling scriptures is Hebrews 4:15, “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” He felt everything you and I have felt in the past, feel in the present and will experience in the future. That is why God is the God who is always here. You cannot get away from His loving gaze and constant care. But is there a scriptural plan for winning the battle of loneliness. There is! We will share it in Part II.
